Birthdays are a joyous occasion for everyone, except for people born in December. Being born close to Christmas is a nuisance, we know. At least, it is comforting to know that people around us make sure to remind us of the inconvenience our involuntary date of birth causes. Here are some surefire ways to get on a December baby’s nerves this festive season.
‘Illami how good. Your birthday is in December’.
YOUR BIRTHDAY IS IN JULY! Everyone is off school, no impending exams, sun, beach, endless possibilities for places to go! WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY KNOW ABOUT DECEMBER BIRTHDAYS? And in case you were wondering, no, it’s not “good”.
‘Kelli xebgħa wrapping paper tal-Milied, għedt qas ħaqq naħliha jaħasra’
Let’s make sure to remind ourselves that Christmas is infinitely more important than a birthday in December. Just wrap the birthday present in red nosed reindeer and smiling Santas, because who’s worth the extra 60 cents and effort? Surely not December babies!
‘Issa nagħtik xi ħaġa fil-Milied ta’
Mela le, zi, toqgħodx tinkwieta. I’ll just magically multiply the box of chocolates into two, and those €10 into €20. Because somehow these two completely different, unrelated, events merit a combo present.
‘Skużani ma tajtek xejn dis-sena, imma rrid nixtri xi ħaġa żgħira lil omm l-għarus, iz-zijiet tiegħu u lil nanntu. U spiċċajt ftit broke’
Don’t you worry! I completely understand. After all it is the time for giving and you want to impress the people who could possibly become your future in-laws. Speaking of giving, could you kindly give back the 30 euro watch I bought you for your birthday? Thanks!
‘Daqskemm għandna ħelu bħalissa! Qas ħaqq nixtru kejk ukoll’
Let me direct you to June, when my sister had a double fudge chocolate cake with sprinkles and striped candles adorning the surface; candles which she blew as everyone clapped and cheered her on. But I’ll just munch on a mince pie. Ma jimpurtax.
‘Sorry, lanqas nista’ noħroġ ta dakinhar. Għandi l-istaff party tax-xogħol’
‘U minħabba li hemm l-eżamijiet f’Jannar irrid nilħaq nagħmel xi ħaġa peress li għandi ġimagħtejn Christmas shopping! Marelli xi jtir iż-żmien’. Basically, my birthday is an inconvenience to all your Christmas excitement and planning, but don’t worry! I’ll make sure to show up to all of the five Birthday events you invite me to when yours comes along in August. I’d be delighted to come to your birthday cocktails, barbeque, day by the pool, dinner and the ultimate PV żiblata!
© 2016 – VIDA Magazine – Amy Webb & Thea Formosa