School has been in for more than a week now. Timetables have been set and distributed, all stationery lists covered, the students settled into their new subjects and teachers are soon having week 2 on their scholastic calendar crossed out! Everything seems to have settled down for a new scholastic year, except for one thing: the parents.
The Know it All Parent
Parent: Can’t my son have a blue file instead of a red one? Blue is said to be so peaceful and tranquil. Red is just the colour of blood, you know?
Teacher: Yes, but it’s the colour of passion too, and files here are colour coded by class anyway, and some classes are definitely in the red.
The I-Can’t-control-my-child Parent
Parent: I am writing you this letter on behalf of my daughter who could not complete her homework due to…
Teacher: Not all this crap again. Last time I’ve had half the class turning in homework late.
The Friends on Facebook Parent
Parent: Hello, I am Mike’s mother, he’s in 1C and he loves being in your class so much. Insomma, where was I, eh, he’s a little bit sick, would you please send over all the handouts and notes? He’s returning in two weeks’ time. Thank YOU!
Teacher: ‘WTF?’, * deletes comment*, *rewrites comment* ‘Ms Vella, while I appreciate your interest, I suggest you contact some of his peers, they learn so much from each other!’
The Teacher Parent
Parent: Your notes are so good! But would you consider changing the examples a bit? Sometimes they get too repetitive and, how should I put it, they get like a little bit off sometimes. We both know how interactive we should all be in this day and age! Don’t get me wrong ta, nothing personal!
Teacher: Right. Let’s interact then; could I please have a look at your notes?
The Weekend Parent
Parent: Dear Mr Callus, please forgive me for contacting you during the weekend, but Kyle is doing the essay due for tomorrow and he seems to have missed the title. Would you please send me the title by email? If we get no title in 2 hours he will be writing an essay on his Dog Johnny. They get together so well.
Teacher: looking at his laptop* Is this lunatic even serious?
The Homework- Loving Parent
Parent: My daughter is spending so much time on social media. Would you please start giving them an essay like every week?
Teacher: Sure, I would gladly do that, only after your daughter starts turning in some of the essays she has refrained from turning in last year.
The Relative Parent
Parent: Hey, how are you? Listen, would you give this lunchbox to Steve please? He went out in a rush this morning and left it behind. He has got a long day ahead of him miskin. Good day!
Teacher: I guess skipping lunch will help his tummy a bit.* “Ahem, I’m late. But I’ll do that.”
The Supermarket Parent
Parent: Ara Miss Theuma! How are you ħi? Mela you buy from here? Good Prices eh?
Teacher: I’m trying this out today, but I think I’ve left my purse in the car. Must go get it. Bye!
© 2016 – VIDA Magazine – Clifford Jo Żahra